Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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