...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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