just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
