Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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