You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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