i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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