The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
