Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
