Cold hands, warm shart.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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