Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
