you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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