I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
