WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
