ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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