So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize