i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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