Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
