Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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