I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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