I wish I could teleport
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And then my night got REAL pukey
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
