There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
