I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
