You just made me feel so damn special
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
