The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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