dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
