I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
