Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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