Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You can't motorboat a personality
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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