I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize