no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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