If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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