i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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