Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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