Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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