TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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