He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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