how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
