he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize