It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
