The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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