Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
