with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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