Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
