no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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