And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
