apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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