what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You dont lie about slip and slides
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
