he puts the penis in happiness.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
