I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
