i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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