Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
