i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Too much gin, very little bucket
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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