**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
