yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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