He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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