If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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