I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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