I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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