Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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